Full time mom. It’s what I’ve wanted to be since I got pregnant. Of course, when I first thought of the concept of a full-time mom, I was really thinking of in terms of being a stay-at-home mom. A mom who didn’t go to work, but “just” raised her children.
Now that my baby is here and I’ve been in the trenches for a few months I have come to realize whether you are a stay-at-home mom, your kids are in day care, you work from home while caring for your kids, or anything in between, you are a full-time mom. There is no off button once you become a mom. At least for me there hasn’t been, and no, this isn’t going to be a rant about dads and dad privilege.
But what about my degree…
I worked really hard to get my degree and the job I have. Still, when my husband and I first found out I was pregnant I started having near constant daydreams about quitting my job and being a stay-at-home mom. I discovered I really wanted the childhood I had growing up, for my own kid. A childhood where the mom is always home and available to attend all the activities. I want to be the PTA mom, the chaperone for scouts, the one who brings cupcakes to school, all the things you can’t do as easily if you have a full-time career on top of being a mom. Are those things possible with a full-time career? Heck yes! But those women are Super Moms and that wasn’t my daydream.
Now, there is also no “just” about raising your kids. It is hard work. At the end of the day, whether you have a career or not, you are still a full-time mom. That realization kind of came hard for me. I keep saying this to all my friends and family members who don’t have kids yet, it’s one thing to know it’s hard to raise kids it’s a whole different ballgame when you’re experiencing it.
Maternity leave
I was able to take 12 weeks off from my day job using my FMLA, this was of course un-paid. Luckily due to pandemic restrictions and working from home, I was able to save extra money during my pregnancy to help support my family. Those first 12 weeks were ROUGH, but I’ll talk about that another day. At the end of those 12 weeks, I was still dreading going back to work. Unfortunately, we just could not afford for me to quit my job without making considerable cutbacks to our current lifestyle, and even then it would be very tight. I’m talking no fun money and no room for accidents or emergencies. When you have a kid that just isn’t practical.
Returning to work
So I returned to work. This was of course June 2021 with the pandemic still going on so, we were still working remotely. Let me tell you, working from home while taking care of an infant is hard. There is a different challenge each week and every time I had a routine down he changed, and we had to figure it out all over again. I am very fortunate that my team is willing to work around my childcare needs, and I do like my job most days, but if I am being honest I still wish we could afford for me to quit my job.
Again this brings us to this blog. Early in my pregnancy a co-worker joked I should start a “mommy blog” I laughed it off saying any extra money I could get from it would be nice, but it’s not like it could be my job. While I still don’t think anyone would be that interested enough in my stories, opinions, or experiences to make any money, I am finding that it would be a nice way to get things off my chest and maybe even find other parents who are going through similar experiences. So ill be sharing my adventures, thoughts, and whatever else comes along the way and we will just see how this all goes.