On the morning of my 33rd birthday, I sat drinking my morning coffee with a clogged duct in my left breast and a heating pad on my lower back. While watching my son play I became nostalgic of birtdays past. I have never been a big partier but sitting there that morning this whole mom thing really started hitting hard.
The night was riddled with thunderstorms, so we had a particularly hard night sleeping. Every thunder boom that rattled the walls woke the baby, who then needed to be nursed back to sleep. Waking up dehydrated from marathon breastfeeding hits differently than waking up with a hangover, however, I wouldn’t trade it. I truly love being a mom. While I still struggle with maintaining my own self-identity, the isolation of being a work from home mom, and the exhausting routine of being someone’s whole world it really is the most rewarding thing I have ever done.
Breakfast
We were just starting baby led weaning, so when my husband came out to the living room that morning and said those five magic words “Do you want French toast?” I was happy to be getting French toast, but I was more excited to let the baby try it.
At breakfast I realized our son was 6 months old, and it made me oddly happy that our birthdays are just about six months apart. When you’re trying for a baby there’s no controlling when you get pregnant but I was really determined to have my baby separate from my own birthday. My birthday is the day before my moms (which means growing up I often spent my birthday shopping with dad for her birthday).
Celebrating is different now
Tonight, we are going out to eat to celebrate without the baby and my sister-in-law is going to babysit for the first time. Normally I have no problem picking somewhere I want to go for my birthday, but this year I am struck with indecision. Now that going out has become a rarity, I just want to go to too many places. Either way I am excited to get to spend some adult time with my husband. Acutally, as I am typing this up I am thinking somewhere that serves margaritas, this mama deserves a celebratory drink.
Anyways, I’m off to enjoy another cup of coffee, because by some kind of fate today is also national coffee day. While I don’t usually celebrate those “holidays” this one is just kismet. Not to mention I really didn’t get much sleep last night and even though we are going to go to dinner early I know that being babysat in the evening is going to totally throw this guy off his schedule so extra caffeine it is!